Robert Wayne Kinghorn Mission Journal

Robert Wayne Kinghorn
Missionary Journal
June 27, 1964

June 28, 1964
Sunday – left Rexburg at 6:30 a.m. on bus with Brent Kunz. Never again will I ride a bus! Net a Sister Smith from Mesa, Arizona. Returning from Hawaii, she really was interesting. Reached Salt Lake at 2:10 p.m. After an hour of confusion I arrived at Mary Ellen’s & Noel’s. Had dinner and went to church with them. Entered home at 8:30 p.m. Met my room-mates. Brother Mike Maccauley was my first companion. Standing 6’2’’ and weighing 200 lbs. At least. I think I’ll be safe this week. He is a great fellow. Retired at 10:30 p.m.

June 29, 1964
Monday – Classes began 7:30 a.m. Hugh B Brown was the first speaker and delivered a marvelous talk. The spirit of the home is tremendous. It makes one feel so wonderful to be here and to serve the Lord. The meals are great, hope I don’t get fat – they’re stuffing us. I learned today that an average missionary walks 8,000 miles – who wants to be average?

By 11:00 p.m. had first 3 conclusions memorized of the first discussion. I pray God helps us to be good missionaries and realize the importance of the work. I love it.

June 30 – Tuesday
The day began at 5:00 p.m., as I with one eye closed started memorizing the first discussion. Breakfast was at 6:30 a.m. and I now know that it is best to eat only part of the food. There’s too much, and ¾ of it is liquid. The morning was passed with lectures from general authorities. I cannot get over the marvelous spirit of these men. Truly, they are God’s chosen leaders. The heat was unbearable while we were photographed. All 284 of us. The first pictures were all ruined, so we had to do it over. I finally decided that I can be a good missionary if I work hard. I will with the Lord’s help. Of the four in my room, I was the only one who had to present discussion before group. It was fairly interesting. Well, back to study – May the Lord bless us. Adiós.

July 1 – Wednesday.
Finally I am a minister of the gospel. I may possess the title, but I certainly lack the knowledge and appearance of an emissary of the Lord. Elder Richard L. Evans set me apart this afternoon at 4:30 p.m. Part of his blessing included: bestowing all gifts, posers, etc. upon me pertaining to my call. I was blessed that confidence in myself and leaders would grow and that I would increase in knowledge, understanding, language, and wisdom. I must or will come to love the Mexican people – I must help them and try to understand their needs. The Holy Ghost will respond to my need for aid and travel with me, if I never go where I should not be proud to have him with me. The Lord is pleased with my call, and I shall have a certainty I was called by a prophet of the Lord.

I can’t remember any more that he said, but it was a wonderful blessing. I thank God that I got to fulfill a mission for Him.

More General Authorities spoke and a Dr. Evans almost persuaded the missionaries to stay home after his lecture on health problems. None the less, the week is slipping much too rapidly by. I am afraid my mission will also.

July 2 – Thursday –
We had a most wonderful day as more General Authorities spoke to us. What inspirational men. It seems everything they said was meant just for me. I cannot help but pray continuously that God will forgive my sins and give me the Holy Ghost to encourage, teach, and strengthen me for the work ahead. Elder McCauley and I began fasting today to prepare for the temple tomorrow. He is truly a humble person. He has taught me so much by his testimony. Well, the time is late and I’m off to dreamland. Guten Abend.

July 3 – Friday
We entered the Salt Lake Temple at 5:30 a.m. 1st session started at 7:00 a.m. and ended at about 10:00 a.m. The temple’s beautiful and there’s a tremendous sprit and peace within its walls. One does feel so close to God. After the first session, we went to the top of the temple for a question period at 12:00 p.m. The 2nd session began and we were out by 3:00 p.m. I was so hungry. I could have eaten a horse, and from the food, I might have. Of course that’s not true, the food is great at the Hotel. Good night.

July 4 – Saturday
You would never know that it was a national holiday. The work is the same as usual. I have the 1st discussion almost down. I went to an advanced group today and it was a surprise to find that I was not the only dumb one.

The afternoon was spent preparing to leave. I so look forward to seeing my parents tomorrow. A program was held tonight – it was great. These guys are so talented and so great and Brother and Sister Brown are two of the most wonderful, inspirational people in the world. To that I bear my testimony.

July 5 – Sunday. Well, this is the day, the week is over – truly the most inspirational of my life. I have had so much time to think about this call and I know that it is the thing I must do. I have such a burning desire to serve God. I hope that I go for this reason and not to prove or seek personal benefits. I am so afraid, and jet so humble. I pray the Lord will be with me. I know I can be a good missionary. May I be worthy to be inspired of His spirit. I know He lives and that Jesus is the Christ. Joseph Smith did live and was a prophet. I cannot cease, but be amazed at our church. It is so true and good.

I also saw my parents and relatives today. What a thrill. I never realized I loved them so very, very much, and Jan is the sweetest beauty I know. Oh, how I thank the Lord that He blessed me with them. May I not let down His nor their faith in me.

Well, arrived at B.Y.U. at 10:30 p.m. Fell into bed at 11:30 p.m. Wonder what tomorrow will be like.

July 6 – Monday
Climbed out of bed at 5:30 a.m., showered and prepared for the best. After a lecture on the procedure, we started (the) day. Elder Barton is our district supervisor. All of our district (La Meseta) had to introduce itself in Spanish before the mission, Zone 1. Class was exciting. Look forward to tomorrow. We have to memorize so much, but will do. This Spanish is fun, and if I don’t get taught I won’t be prepared. Adiós.

July 7, Tuesday
Talk about work, this is terrific. For about the first time in my life I fall in bed exhausted. It’s a good feeling. Elder Lunt and Elder Aranda are our teachers, and are they ever good. Elder Aranda served a mission to West Mexico. They are both great men. The language is getting harder. The more we study, the more my stupidiness (as written) is revealed. Out of 10 fellows in the district, 6 have had 2 or more years of Español. I feel sort of left out. Our day is one long schedule of work. I am beginning to know just what it means to be a missionary. O, by the way – my birthday was passed in silence, so may I take the liberty of wishing myself a very happy 20th birthday. Buenas Noches.

July 8 – Wednesday
Dialogues, grammar, conversation, Español, Español, Español, it is going through my mind so fast I wonder if any of it pauses there. The day has been fast – I have been slow.

July 9 – Thursday
And I thought yesterday was bad.

July 10 – Friday
Well, now I know how it feels to be in the bottom half of the class. It really is humbling. I can’t help but feel, however, that the language will come. I pray the spirit will also. I do so want to serve in all humility and be an instrument in the hands of God.

July 11 – Saturday
At last, relief. Our tests began 8:00 a.m. I received B+ in oral, C- in pronunciation, A in written, A in dictation, and A in memorization. If I can keep my A- average up all will be well. But from what I hear, that is really difficult. The afternoon was spent washing, getting haircuts, writing letters, and seeing a movie “Pollyana”. It was real good.

I have done a lot of contemplating today. I decided to put the past behind me, look to today and to pray for the spirit of the Holy Ghost to work through me. I pray to God, but do I pray so He hears me. My faith that he answers prayers remains unshaken. Have been very tired these past days and Have been sleeping more and more. I also lost my voice and developed a cough. Oh, the trials of a missionary. Hasta Mañana.

July 12, Sunday
It is difficult to adjust to these meetings. Coming from a ward of 800 to a zone group of 75 is a real change. We hold Sunday School at 8:15 a.m., Priesthood Mt. At 9:50 a.m. – then Sacrament Mt at 6:00 p.m. in the Y Center. I spent most of today sleeping. I guess I really wasted time and it was a mistake I hope never to make again. Even though this is different, it is inspirational and exciting. Still I pray for the spirit to know of the truthfulness of God’s work.

I sincerely pray I may be prepared at the end of these 2 months to receive the Spirit and have the knowledge to preach the gospel as it must be taught.

July 13, Monday
It was difficult adjusting back to the routine, but I did manage and it feels wonderful to be working hard again. The class gave Hno. (Brother) Aranda a bad time today, hope he forgives us, he is certainly a wonderful man and teacher, and he was a great missionary. Challenge percentage was listed today and La Meseta was 97.25% which is not good compared to rest. The highest was 146%. Pués, (well) back to the dialog. Adiós todos!

July 14, Tuesday
The dialog was easy today, class was stimulating, lab boring, and I’m laughing from Hno. Aranda’s class. Senor White is a real character. I wasted money, which I must watch and I must use my time more advantageously, or should I say the Lord’s time.

July 15 – Wednesday
Started contest today of speaking Español only in class. Have you ever had that frustrated feeling of wanting to speak but being unable to, it is difficult. Language is progressing. I don’t know where I am. Bueno, the sun will rise tomorrow.

July 16, Thursday
My companion was selected as the new supervising Elder and Elder White of our district as Zone secretary. They are both effective, sincere, and excellent elders. The elders in my district are really great. I love them all. A mission is a great teacher. Oh, how I have learned to share, obedience, humility. I shall thank the Lord all my days for this opportunity. May I remember I came to give, not to take. I pray his spirit abides with me and us all. Buenas Noches.

July 17 – Friday
It seems that the time is passing so swiftly. Two weeks here already. Due to a change in plans of some sisters, we were told we could go to the Manti Temple Saturday. How I look forward to it. Proselyting class is getting better and I really love it here.

July 18 – Saturday
Passed my tests with a B average. C in pronunciation, B- in oral, B+ in writing, A in memorization, A- in dictation. I feel fairly good about it. Left for temple at 12:10 p.m. The Manti Temple is beautiful and the surrounding country is wonderful. The spiritual peace and strength felt in the temple, however, is so wonderful. It makes me feel that I will complete an honorable mission unto the Lord. How grateful I am, how happy. May God bless us all.

July 19 – Sunday
These meetings in Español are realy difficult. It is hard to get the spirit when you understand practically nothing. Nonetheless I enjoy and I know it helps. I wasted time today – hope it doesn’t happen again.

July 20 – Monday
How ashamed I am of my weakness and faith. How much better I could be! I must realize above all that I am here to help others, not myself. If the Lord will accept my actions, perhaps he will help me. Elder McCauley has taught me so much about dedication, fasting, prayer. I feel so unworthy of it all. But I will not give in – the Lord called me, I can’t give in, I can’t let the devil discourage me. Hope is the key, faith the answer. Forgive my philosophy, but it is reassuring to know that I can also help myself.

July 21 – Tuesday
Wonderful day full of God’s blessings. Working hard and loving every moment of it. Nothing of import happened but this is the eve of the big (my first) speak only Español contest. It will be a struggle, but I will try. Buenas Noches.

July 22 – Wednesday
Well, I failed the speak only Español contest. It is still on, maybe I will do better today. Leadership meeting today was wonderful. The message and the spirit were thrilling to behold. I am getting sleepie every day. Something had better boost me or I will really hit hard. Well, adios.

July 23 – Thursday
Maybe Friday will be better!

July 24 – Friday
A holiday in Mormon history and we’re still hitting it hard. It’s good for the soul, though.

July 25 – Saturday
What a memorable day in my life. I had my tests this morning and achieved an A- average which makes me very happy. After a delicious lunch we met in Pres. Martina’s room for companion change. Only four were changed and it was hard on them, but they will be all right. Our skit on the talent show for mission conference about baptisms was funny, but Pres. Wilkens made it clear to us it was wrong and I really, we all did feel guilty and sick. But we will learn by it.

Our district meeting was the most inspirational thing I have ever been to in my life. All of us stood before the group and told of grievances, made apologies, told of problems, bore our testimonies, and told each other we loved each other. All of us shed tears. You could feel the love in the room. It was marvelous. I truly believe the Lord placed me here in this spiritual district for a purpose I know not. But I am so grateful and inspired to live right.

How I love this work, how I love the Lord. Adios.

July 26 – Sunday
This, without a doubt, has been one of the most glorious days of my life. Mission conference began at 10:00 a.m. We heard two wonderful talks on obtaining the spirit. It seems as if they were almost written just for me. How wonderful they were. But, the climax came this evening at 6:00 p.m. when testimony meeting was held.

I can say I truly felt the glorious spirit and loveliness of it all. Elders on every side bearing testimony to the truth. But, most of all, I felt like I wanted to jump up and give mine, and I felt it wasn’t inadequate any more, but sincere and wonderful. How I love the gospel and how I want to teach it, share it, and glorify God’s name. These past two days have been the most beautiful, spiritual days of my life. I know I can succeed, I will – I will never give up.

Part II

July 27 - Monday
Here we go again.

July 28 - Tuesday.
And again – Began district fast tonight.

July 29 – Wednesday
Fasted most of day to assist us in language, etc. I felt that I did not do all my part. The Lord helps those who help themselves. I hope for the best in the future.

July 30 – Thursday
And another wonderful day closes, a day abundant with the blessings of God. How grateful I am to Him to be here and how strongly I praise His name for His love for me and all mankind. No memorable event occurred today, but who cares, it’s been a good day.

July 31 – Friday
The day before the big exam. I have to study. Man – there is so much to remember that I wonder if I will ever know it all. Today was a little slow. I didn’t have much to pass off. But I did make challenge with a 125% average. Buenas noches todos. Last day of month – the time is passing too swiftly.

August 1 – Saturday
I passed my tests with respectable grades but I could have done better. At least pronunciation came up to a C+. I read and studied in the afternoon then went to free movie called “Duel in the Sun.” It was horrible and I shouldn’t have wasted the time. Saturday evening was spent just enjoying life and doing little. I had better change that before it becomes habitual.

August 2 – Sunday
Fast day and truly wonderful. I bore my testimony in Espanol and was scared stiff, but it was such a wonderful feeling. Because I memorized my dialogue early I got all my letters written and went to the fireside which featured a converted Methodist minister. He was so wonderful. I hope I am instrumental in converting people such as he. I will never give up trying. The Lord and I can win. I know it. I pray for it.

August 3 – Monday
And so begins the last week of grammar. How wonderful.

August 4 – Tuesday
Feeling discouraged. Received letter from Bishop Forsyth and my whole day brightened. I hope my attitude toward this mission stays right.

August 5 – Wednesday
The time is certainly and swiftly flying by.

August 6 – Thursday
Hope I can stay awake today in class. Managed to pass off all assignments which is great, but I certainly fear Elder Quackenbush’s test tomorrow. I guess everyone does. I thought I left tests home, but was I ever wrong.

August 7 – Friday
Well, the test wasn’t bad at all. In fact, I enjoyed it. Today ends my 5th week. Time is passing so fast. I hope I stay happy.

August 8 – Saturday
Another weekly test passed and I feel very good about it. My pronunciation came up to a B-. After the test we met at the dorms for a watermelon party. We all enjoyed it. Then we settled down for the afternoon. At 5:00 p.m. we went to the show “Teahouse of the August Moon”. Afterwards we went to a Mexican restaurant for a Mexican dinner. Ohh – ¡¡ Muy caliente!! (Very HOT). The whole day was very wonderful. Muy bonita (Very nice).

August 9 – Sunday
It seems I was the pianist today at all the meetings. I must say I have heard better accompanists, but I truly loved doing it. Every opportunity like that can’t be lost, even though you’re not the best, those who do it, are magnified by the Lord, I am sure. I want to leave my firm testimony here, that this work is the glory of God and most assuredly true. I realize that in my mind I sometimes doubt but in my heart I am sure. God does live, and Jesus Christ did die for us. Joseph Smith saw the Father and the Son. This church has to be true. No church could progress so tremendously unless it had it (the truth).

I love this work, my companions, and I am very happy here. May God help me to serve Him well, and to always help others. Buenas Noches, Diary.

August 10 – Monday
This is the day we start 2nd level – Well, I now have 2 pages of the plan down and it is a wonderful feeling. Elder Snow and I started our fast tonight. I know it will help us. You feel closer to the Lord while fasting.

August 11, Tuesday
Two more pages.

August 12, Wednesday
It is getting rougher but more enjoyable. I worked with Elder Wright today. He is certainly a fine person. And He is beginning to feel better and better about his call. I hope he becomes a great missionary.

August 13, Thursday
Elder Gardner is my companion today. I enjoyed working with him. It takes patience but it is humbling. I do so need to be more understanding. One never really knows how the Lord blesses him until it is over.

August 14, Friday
Last day of the week, 10 pages down and no scripture class. Believe I am not so hot in scripture class but I love it and everything else here.

August 15, Sturday
Our district fasted again today. Elder Snow and I just stayed home and worked. We accomplished so much, and I am sure the spirit of the Lord was with us.

As for my test this morning, that poses problems. I really did poorly, but I will never give up.

August 16, Sunday
Another wonderful day. Oh, I am sure the Lord is with us. I played a piano solo in Sacrament Meeting and it was fairly good. How I love the church. I could never repay my Father for the blessings showered upon me. I only pray I can repay Him in some very small way (Great way) for it all. I have wonderful parents, good friends, the gospel, a free country, and life. What more could one ask for. I love my Father in Heaven

August 17, Monday
And the pages keep coming.

August 18, Tuesday
And coming.

August 19, Wednesday
First lesson’s complete. What a relief.

August 20, Thursday
Time is passing much too fast.

August 21, Friday
My seventh week is over. I am beginning to feel like a Viejo (one of the older guys).

August 22, Saturday
Well, the tests are getting worse and worse, my grades, I do believe, will never recover. But I feel great anyway.

August 23, Sunday
How I appreciate these days of spiritual fulfillment – without Sunday I don’t think I would make it through the mission. And yet, I feel greatly that I should try for the spirit of God everyday. I know every missionary should. How I pray my prayer may be fulfilled concerning a testimony of the Book of Mormon! I finished it today and that makes me doubly happy.

August 24, Monday
My eighth week begins with hope.

August 25 Tuesday
I am still hoping –

August 26, Wednesday
Almost have second lesson complete –

August 27 Thursday
Second lesson completed, what a relief. I present to an escuchante (native speaking trainer) today and manana.

August 28, Friday
Sometimes I think there’s no such thing as a week, only days. Elder Snow and I were told we were changing companions tonight. What a blow. I have come to love him so much. We were so much alike in so many ways. I will never forget him. Elder Gardner is my new companion. He is the districts problem Elder. How I pray that the Lord will help me to have the courage and faith to carry this through and to profit by it. I know I will grow by this experience.

August 29, Saturday
I did a little better on exams today, thank goodness. But I am still low. Elder Gardner and I got adjusted today to each other. I know our companion will turn out fine. I wouldn’t call him a problem elder anymore. Today I just wrote letters and studied.

August 30, Sunday
Today was so wonderful. The spirit of the Lord was here to bless us. I received so much strength from the meetings, particularly Pres. Bastion’s farewell. He is a powerful man and so close to God. One, in whom it would be easy to follow his footsteps.

That is one thing that has impressed so deeply here is the leaders. I have yet to find one who is not spiritual, talented, and really wonderful. My heart cannot find words to say that I love it here.

August 31, Monday
Last day of the month. It has come so quickly. I am afraid Mexico will come even quicker. I long to be there, yet fear the first weeks and all of really being there.

I know of a certainty I cannot go without the Lord’s spirit and the Holy Ghost. I pray I may live close enough to receive it.

Septiembre 1, Tuesday
First day of a new month in my life and definitely of a new, better life. This day I love my Father in Heaven more than ever before. I love my parents.

I forgot to mention that on Sunday my grandmother came by. It was so wonderful and meant so much. I know now how much I really love her.

Septiembre 2, Wednesday
Another day –

Septiembre 5 – Saturday
Today we moved from Hinckley Hall to Amanda – Knight. It is an older building, but one that impresses me greatly because of its stately medieval look. It is the change I like best.

Septiembre 29 – Tuesday
I am in an old hotel in Tuscon, Arizona at the moment – Opps, got another cockroach – it seems tomorrow I will be in Hermosillo and begin the work I have dedicated myself to. It has been a long time since I wrote in my journal, so I had better catch up.

Amanda-Knight wasn’t bad al all, and I spent a lot of time, very happy moments there. Elder White and Elder Hansen are my room mates. If we just had a little more room it would be nicer. We ate, slept, studied, worked, and met all in the same building. Is this confinement or is it confinement.

For two Saturdays we hiked up to a cave on Squaw Peak. Didn’t make it the first time, but did the second. It was very interesting and the view was inspirational, as well as the 100 ft ladder up a shaft. The prime reason I went the second time was for Elder Gardner.

I was made supervising Elder two weeks ago. What an experience! I can’t say I was the best, but I certainly learned the wrong way to do it. Next time, perhaps, I will do better. It taught me one thing, however, which I shall always be grateful for, and that is to be concerned over other people and how they are doing. I wanted them all to succeed and do their best. This is a firm testimony to me that love is the key to missionary work. I selected Elder Writhe as my temporary supervisor and placed Elder Gardner and Elder Kunz together as companions. I pray all turns out well.

At 6:00 a.m. this morning Elder Hansen and I left Amanda-Knight for the field. I was interested then in seeing my parents. What a blessed joy to see them, their smiles, feel their spirit, rejoice in their joy and health. Brent and Donna have a beautiful apartment and are so happy. I cannot find words or feelings to express my love for them all. Next to the gospel, they are above all precious to me. I would die this instant to help them in anyway.

We had dinner at Brent and Donna’s apartment, then went to the airport. I wept as I said good-bye , and I am weeping now. I thank the Lord that I love them so much. For Him and for them I will do my best on His mission.

The plane ride was a thrill. I loved it, but slept half the way. Reached Tucson at 5:75 or so. Made it to our hotel and have relaxed ever since. During the shower I cried as never before. I am not sure I can take this, how I will need God’s help. Read Elder Snow’s letter tonight. He sent me a dollar and expressed his love to me. For him, I would do anything. He is like unto a brother.

How great the joy the gospel has brought into my life. God has blessed me and I am sure, chosen me to teach this people. I will do it – I know with all my heart that the gospel is true. God lives and will answer my prayers. It is his spirit that I seek and a testimony of the Holy Ghost. I pray that I will not fail. I have resolved that from now on, His work is first, and all else is secondary. I will get the language yet. “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not fear.”

Part III

Septiembre 30 – Wed.
Arrived in Hermosillo. Whoever said it was beautiful was blind. Some buildings are nice, but brother, the sun, dirt, and crowded streets are factors to be recorded with as environmental obstacles to growth.

President Turley is a very good man, and we have been honest with each other. He will help me all he can, I know.

My first impression of mission work, is “Oh No, this isn’t what I expected!” I think I thought it was all cloud #9. It’s not. I only hope I adjust to it and serve My Father well.

Octubre 1 – Thursday
Spent all day on a bus en route to my first assignment – Mexicali. Was afraid that I would not make it. We changed buses once and they got me off another to question me about my luggage. Believe me, I played the part of the dumb American real well.

The view all the way was desert and distance mountain. I can’t believe this place. I don’t know what I asked for, I am sure.

Arrived in Mexicali about 6:45 p.m. Took a taxi to the house and crawled through a window to get in. The elders returned late from a party. I was half-asleep so – little was said. Passed out into sleep sometime during the night.

Octurbe 2 – Friday
My new companion is Elder (XXX). He is a good missionary, could work harder, has a moustache, and visits members too much. But I like him. I hope we can work well together. The other Elders here are Pectol and Parry. Both friendly and hard workers.

The house has 5 rooms and is nice if you like bugs and dirt. It is really dirty and cockroaches are everywhere. And in the night, the chiggers go to work and by morning I am a ball of itching energy.

Our water is bottled and food is bought every few days. The place is always hot and averages about 100 degrees, it seems all the time. If it rains there is mud, mud, mud- if it doesn’t – the dust rises a mile high.

Octubre 9 – Sunday
Language is a real barrier, particularly in church, when you should be talking to all the new members. It is embarrassing and lonely, but exciting too. We hold church in an old small rented pink house, very inadequate. It has no piano, and an air conditioner that drones out every sound made.

Today was testimony meeting and it was a thrill to hear the testimonies of these people. They are sincere and humble. In the evening we set apart the women’s presidencies and for the first time I carried on a small conversation with one of the members. Here’s hoping all goes well.

Octubre 8 – Thursday
Today I present my first tractout discussion. It was poor and difficult for me, but I don’t think I forgot anything. I had it easier than some missionaries, however. The family name is Cruz. I would sure like to see them baptized.

You know mission work is work and difficult to always have the spirit with you. Just been thinking, and I know I have a lot to do to accomplish the Father’s work.

A mission, I see, is entirely what you make it and with all my heart I want to serve God, obtain his spirit and feel worthy of this calling.

I have found myself thinking how nice it will be to be home again. I can’t get thrilled yet as to the work, and I know I must. I am adjusting swiftly to the conditions, but pray to my Father that I may receive the vision of my call.

Oct. 19
Gave my first lesson today – Horrors!! I don’t know if you could call it that. I wasn’t frightened, but very grateful my senior companion was there. He had to explain all the questions they asked. I thought I was doing fine, until one of the investigators asked another one what I had said. He couldn’t understand me. My pride went to my shoes and I was ever so relieved when it was over. I know it is the only way to learn, but it certainly isn’t the most enjoyable.

I love the city and the people. I am beginning to feel better about everything. I have a lot of problems to overcome, but I can do it, with the Lord.

Another thing about the city is the dogs. There are more large man-eating dogs here than Carter has pills. Walking home at night, and all of a sudden growls and barking are at you is nervous, but it makes life interesting. My prayers are with thee, Elder - ¡Qué le vaya bien!

Oct 25 – Sunday
Well, I am at the chapel waiting for church to start. Another week has passed and I will soon have been here a month. In that time I have learned a great deal, particularly that I need the help of God to perform my work. Slowly I am beginning to arrange myself. Oh, how I am thankful for prayer. It buoys my spirit beyond measure. I have felt wrong about the last part of this week and my language frustration is beginning to bother me. I can’t see any improvement. Yesterday I didn’t have any desire to work. I feel out of it. I know that the devil is trying to destroy me. I must keep up, though, and work all the harder. My place is here, my work and my heart. My inspiration isn’t. The Lord help me to find it quickly.

I have given 5 lessons now, two second and 3 first. I love it. During one 2nd, my companion went to sleep. It was slightly embarrassing to wake him up to ask a question. Life and work are made of experiences like that though. There will be more, I am sure.

Oct 29
I thought for a moment that I would record some of my first impressions of the Catholic church here in Mexico. You might call this “My primary analytical dissertation and expurgation of the Catholic Church.”

#1 – At least 90% of the people are Catholic, for the primary reason that their parents were. Many are social Catholics, then position requires it, and some are Catholic because they don’t want to be bothered with religion. One tract-out told us, she was Catholic, because, and I quote, ”It allows me to be free to do anything I want to do.” The most interesting statement I heard in reply to our query, do you want to know more about Jesus Christ and his message and mission, was, “Oh No! I am Catholic.”

#2 – I have witnessed that the church does not have the glory it did have. The Catholic has lost respect and place with many people because of its greed, and doctrine.

In summary, I would say that the church exists today more as a convenience to the people than a true religion, and I underline that word. People are Catholics because their fathers were, and among this great bulk, the majority have little interest in the church other than to attend an occasional mass. In my opinion, Catholicsm has lost the substance of religion, truth, and without truth, it has no heart.

Noviembre 14
The first mission conference I have attended is over. It was held in Tijuana and passed all too fast. I enjoyed meeting all the missionaries and most of all, hearing their testimonies. They have imparted to me strength beyond their knowledge.

And yet, it is my own testimonio that has buoyed me up. The following is what I wrote at 12:45 ;.m. today immediately after giving mine. My Spanish was the worst I have ever spoken. I don’t think I ever felt so humble.

“I felt calm in my testimony, but extremely aware of my lack of espanol. My heart was deeply grateful and sure of the truth of this work, but my mouth moved not to my command, and the words to express myself were buried in another language. I must say it now that never have I loved or been so sure that this is the work of God. My Father lives, I know it.”

I have more to write, but for now I close with this thought that the Spirit of God was here today. I know Pres. Turley spoke for Him in our meeting. My love for God and His servants is, indeed, greater.

Noviembre 17
Back at Mexicali, and back to work. I now have a new companion, Elder Stephen Mark Wheeler from Ogden, Utah. An outstanding Elder and my regional counselor. They moved him here to allow for easier use on the car. He hated to leave Tijuana and Elder McCauley, his companion. They are exactly alike.

Elder Collett is in Tijuana with Elder McCauley now. I certainly enjoyed working with him. We didn’t see eye to eye, but I learned some valuable things from him. Elder Wheeler left many investigators in Tijuana for Collett, and we have few here. It’s sort of disappointing to me to involve Elder Wheeler in such a trade. But with work we can get many more investigators here too.

It is getting awfully cold here now, and may freeze soon. I am already freezing. Despite it all, though, I enjoy this cold and its remembrance of my home.

I don’t profess to know much, but the Lord is certainly helping me adjust here, and slowly I am catching on to the language, and more importantly to the way of people.

Maybe in two years I might change enough to grow up and assume the aspect of an adult, at least, to my own mind’s eye.

Irregardless, the most important thing is work and prayer – for now. Life is so much easier if each day is lived one at (a) time.

Noviembre 25
Elder Wheeler and I have been working together now one week. I must say I like the car! It makes things and traveling much easier, but it’s also the cause of a lot of wasted time. I only made 50 hrs. last week. It was my low and the region low. Hope it never happens again.

I really enjoy working with Elder Wheeler. He is helpful, considerate, and a leader. I doubt if we will ever develop a close friendship, but I will never forget his style and his manner of doing things. He plays the guitar well, at least better than Elder XXXX, and I just feel that he is more spiritually in tune with the gospel. He is an example for me.

I was asked Sunday, 45 minutes before meeting to give a talk. I did and how poor it was, but at least the opportunity did not go by. I thank my Father for His help. The following is what I said:

Hermanos y hermanas, es un placer para mí, estar aquí esta moche para hablarles. Tengo mucho miedo. Esta es una coas muy difícil, pero no es imposible (Brothers and sisters, it is a pleasure for me to be here this evening to speak to you. I am very frightened. This is a hard thing for me, but it is not impossible).

Nosotros hemos sido, de veras, bundecido (We have been truly blessed). Somos miembros de la Iglesia verdadera de Jusucristo (We are members of the true church of Jesus Christ). Es un privilegio my grande, y uno quo pocos en el mundo tienen. It is a great privilege, one that few in the world have). Pero, ser miembro de la Iglesia no es importante, si no sabemos que ésta es la iglesia verdadero (But, to be a member of the church is not important if we do not know that this is the true church).

¿Cómo podemos saber que ésta es la iglesia de Jesucristo? ¿Por medio de qué? (How can we know that this is the church of Jesus Christ? How can we know it).

Yo creo que la manera mas imprtante para conocer la verdad acerca esta, sea por medio la oración. (I believe the most important way to know the truth about this would be through prayer). En el evangelio de San Mateo, se dice así: Mateo 6: 7,8: (En the gospel of Matthew 6:7-8, it says)

Oración, sin fe y crecencia es unútil (prayer without faith is useless). Cristo enseñó que debemos orar con el corazón, usar nuestras propias palabras, y evitar vanas repeticiónes (Christ taught that we should pray with the heart, using our own words, and avoid vain repetitions) La biblia nos enseña que la oración se compone de cuatro pasos, y éstos son: (The Bible teaches us that prayer consists of four steps, these are)
1, dirigir las oraciones a Dios, como Nuestro Padre Celestial
(Direct the prayer to God, such as Our Father in Heaven)
2, Dar gracias en la oracion por sus bendiciones
(Give thanks en the prayer for His blessings)
3, Pedir en lo oracíon lo que necesitamos
(Ask for what we need)
4, La oración se hace en el nombre de Jusrcristo.
(End the prayer in the name of Jesus Christ)

Estas pasos son, solamente, un ejemplo de la manera correcta de orar. (These steps are only an example of the correct way to pray). Pero ellos son indigno si no oramos con el corazón en fe (But these steps are useless if we do not pray with the heart, and with faith).
Yo tengo otra pregunta, hermanos, ¿Saben uds. de veras en sus corazónes que ésta es la Iglesia de Jesucristo? (I have another question, brothers and sisters. Do you truly know in your hearts that this is the church of Jesus Christ?) Si no, ¿en que manera oran? Con fe o con vana repeticiones (If not, how are you praying? With faith, or with vain repetition?).

Testimonio,
Yo les digo estas cosas en el nombre de Jesucristo, Amen (Testimony: I tell you these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.).

Diciembre 3
How time has flown! It is now almost 9 weeks since I arrived in the mission. Sometimes it seems I’ve made progress and other times I feel as though I arrived yesterday. But one thing for sure is that I love this experience completely.

For the past five days Elder Pectol and I have worked together while Elder Wheeler was in Tijuana. It was a choice experience. Elder Pectol is very religious and really puts his heart into his work when he does it. I enjoyed hearing him give tract-outs, and we found one choice, humble family who I am sure will be baptized.

Sunday I baptized 3 people, 1 of our investigators, and 2 for the LM’s. The water was ice-cold, and I thought for sure I’d be blue before it was over. But then, any sacrifice is justifiable – almost – to help these people find and accept the truth, after all, it is the greatest gift of God.

10:30 p.m. – Just a note, before bed, to say that I am finally following in my brother’s footsteps. I tried to park the mission car tonight and instead I scraped the car next to me and put a slight dent and white mark about a foot long on the car on the back door. I could have crawled into a hole. Embarrassing – but then, I imagine this is one of those experiences they say, make one grow???

Diciembre 6
I have often contemplated how this mission is going to build my testimony. Sometimes that “My” is over-emphasized, when the real joy is in seeing others gain testimonies.

Tonight, for instance, I experienced a realy joy in my soul. We tracted out a family last week. Right off we knew that they would be baptized. They are poor; their house consists of two small rooms and they use candles for light. The wife couldn’t read, so the husband read and explained all the tracts to her. They came to church this morning and were thrilled with the services. I have never met a family so humble and sincere. They have two small children here and two in Guadalajara whom they can’t support. Ever since they started seeing us, their neighbors have jeered at them, called them names, and today, the landlord told them they had 8 days to move out of the house in which they live. The man who owns the tools the investigator borrowed to work with took them back too. All on account of us; - of the truth, - of the Mormons. We talked to hem this evening and they were only more convinced of the truth and wanted to be baptized just before leaving. The woman cried as I prayed. Seldom have I felt a love for someone as I do for that family. How I pray the Lord will bless them. They are worthy of so much more. I can only thrill at their love of the gospel. This is the true joy of missionary work, the true joy.